NORWAY-L Archives

Archiver > NORWAY > 1998-12 > 0913588117


From: "Lou Halsan" <>
Subject: Daily Joke - Lou Halsan
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1998 14:28:37 -0800


Submitted by Arlene Seydel. I've seen this before, but this is cleaned up
and in mock norsk. Thanks Arlene. Lou.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dec 14, 1998
My dearest Sven,
I vent to da door today and boy, vas my eyes surprised. Da postman
delivered to me a partridge in a pear tree. It vas vonder-ful!!
With deepest love and affection, Lena

Dec. 15, 1998
My dearest Sven,
Today da postman brought to me your lively gift. Yust imagine- two turtle
doves! I'm delighted at your very toughtful gift. Dey are adorable. All
my love, Lena

Dec. 16, 1998
Dearest Sven,
Oh! You certainly know how to voo a maiden lady. Now I must protest. I
don't deserve such yenerosity.. t'ree French hens! Dey are really
some'ting, but I have to insist, you've been too kind. Love, Lena

Dec. 17, 1998
Dear Sven,
Today da postman brought four calling birds. Now really, dey are beautiful,
but you are being yust too romantic! Affectionately, Lena

Dec 18, 1998
Dear Sven,
Vat a surprise! Da postman, he came again bringing to me five golden rings,
vun for efery finger. You are a real spender and I love it! You know, all
dose birds sqvauking vas giving me one big headache.
All my love, Lena

Dec 19, 1998
Dear Sven,
Vhen I opened da door dere vas six geese a-laying on my front stoop! You
are back to da birds again, ya? Dose geese are some real voppers! Vhere am
I suppose to keep dem? Miss Olson, my neighbor, yelled dey kept her up all
night. Please desist! Cordially, Lena

Dec 20, 1998
Dear Sven,
Vat's with you and dose nasty birds? Seven swans a-swimming! Vat kind of
yoke is dis? Dere's bird-doo all over my house and dey never stop vit da
caterwauling. I don't sleep no more at night. You are not funny!
Sincerely, Lena

Dec 21, 1998
Hokay Buster,
I tink I prefer da birds! What am I do do with eight maids a-milking? Now
I
got all dose birds, all dose maids and to make tings vorse, dey brought
along
dere cows. Now dere's manure all over da yard and old lady Olson stepped in
a cow pie and fainted! Yust lay off of me, smart aleck man! Lena

Dec 22, 1998
Dear Rotten,
Vhat are you? Some kind of sadist? Now der's nine pipers playing' and vhen
dey take a break dey chase dose maids. Da cows got upset and stepped all
over da screeching birds. Vhat am I going to do? Old lady Olson has
started a petition to kick me out of da neighborhood.
You'll get yours! Lena

Dec 23, 1998
To you, crazy man,
Now dere's ten ladies dancing. I don't tink dere such ladies eit'er. Dey
kick der heels and show der bloomers and der black vit lace, such bloomers
I've never seen before! Da pipers, dey sit and vait for the ladies to kick
der heels. The cows all have da scours and the maids ran off and left dem
vit me! Old lady Olson shot vit her sling shot vhen I vas bending over
trying to milk a cow dis morning!
I'm siccing da police on you! I mean it! Lena

Dec 24, 1998
Your last chance!
Vhat's vit da eleven Lords a-leaping? Dey trample down my prize rose bush
and during all da commotion da cows stampeded and old Lady Olson came
running out from her house and one of da Lords leap frogged over her head
and she fell on da last bird...da partridge... and sqvaushed him flat like a
pancake, ya! Your Svorn Enemy, Lena

Dec. 25, 1998
Law Offices, Bumble, Bagle and Badger
Dear sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling, which
you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Lena Hanson. The
destruction, of course, was total. Not only did our client suffer a nervous
breakdown but her neighbor, Miss Winnie Olson, suffered a blow-out to her
hearing aid and was allegedly "goosed" with a wayward bow as she bent over
to pick up coins hat passers-by were throwing. If you should attempt to
reach Miss Hanson at Better Days Sanitarium, the attendants have
instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter, please find a copy
of a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Bumble, Bagle and Badger

This thread: