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Archiver > TMG > 2000-06 > 0959867933


From: "arlene" <>
Subject: [TMG-L:] Re: TMG-L: Philosophy and/or Theology Versus Genealogy (AKA .....True Marriage)
Date: Thu, 1 Jun 2000 09:58:53 -0400
References: <00d701bfcb5b$bf098d80$1da70218@mrdn1.ct.home.com>


FWIW ---UFT has a "domestic partnership" to cover these instances...
Arlene
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ken Nelson" <>
To: "TMG post" <>
Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2000 7:55 PM
Subject: TMG-L: Philosophy and/or Theology Versus Genealogy (AKA .....True
Marriage)


> >From time to time we do seem to get sidetracked to issues such as
> Baptism and Marriage and their Philosophical and Theological
> Implications. (For those new to the list, from time to time we have
> discussed baptism and its theological significance quite.) Early on in
> this discussion about marriage I received an e-mail from an individual
> wagging their finger at me suggesting in no uncertain terms that the
> problem with the world today was that we did not or would not take
> stands on moral issues such as we have before us. And now we have had
> a long and interesting conversation about marriage and its virtues and
> the assumptions we make concerning marriages and deaths.
>
> And again all that has been said may be true. What is important to us
> on this list is not its merits or problems but rather what it means to
> us as genealogists and family historians. Let me illustrate. My cousin
> has been married five or six times. I can remember her saying once
> that she did not believe in bedding down with someone without being
> married. It seems like she was a person of her word. <VBG> Today she
> lives with her "boyfriend" and has for quite some time without the
> benefit of a marriage ceremony. In fact with her sour history with
> marriages she would not be happy if I represented their relationship
> as a married one. He is a "friend." End of discussion. Whether I
> approve of the relationship, whether I think that the relationship
> should be best represented as a married state, the issue I have as a
> genealogist/historian is how best to report and represent it in the
> accounts I am compiling. This is a contemporary relationship and I can
> ask her how she wants to represent it. So it is not a big deal. But I
> believe I need to represent it as she would want it represented.
>
> In the discussion is also the question of nonliving folk without
> benefit of clear evidence concerning the act of marriage. Most if not
> all my folks were pretty conventional and traditional and it would be
> safe to represent them as married with or without evidence. In
> thinking about it, maybe I ought to create a custom tag: "say-Married"
> (similar to say-dates) to symbolize those that bore children without
> evidence of marriage and that I have concluded due to what I know of
> the situation to have been married. I might also add, there are many
> peripheral folk (not in my direct line) that I will never take the
> time or trouble to check their marriage certificates for official
> decree. So even if I can, I will not do the research to ensure the
> truth of every assumption.
>
> The bottom line for me in this discussion is not the morality or
> correctness of a particular event or non-event as the case may be but
> rather how we as writers and genealogists can best represent it in a
> written history. Whatever the correctness of the situation with my
> cousin, she is still my cousin. If I still choose to represent her and
> her relationship as a part of my family, in spite of her shortcomings,
> how best do I do it without alienating her. That for me is the crux of
> our discussion.
>
> Ken Nelson
>
>
>
>
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