TMG-L Archives

Archiver > TMG > 2002-09 > 1030932207


From: Lee Hoffman <>
Subject: Re: [TMG] Wait a day
Date: Sun, 01 Sep 2002 22:03:27 -0400
References: <3D728A0D.87567BF0@bellatlantic.net><18.24a9b23c.2aa368cd@aol.com><3D72350E.F62A778C@bellatlantic.net><001101c251e3$e252d2e0$0100a8c0@mshome.net>
In-Reply-To: <5.1.0.14.0.20020901195818.021afd00@pop.erols.com>


Allen Mellen wrote:
>At 05:43 PM 9/1/02 -0400, bob gillis wrote:
>>I wasn't yelling so much at Lori as all the 19 replies many of which
>>were wrong. Since Wednesday 28 Aug I have received over 784 TMG-L
>>messages. Since there are other forums to ask on, I complained mainly
>>in general.
>
>I'm not singling out my friend bob in saying this -- in fact I chose to
>quote him because he is quite an understanding person.
>
>I believe the following to be good rules of thumb:
>
>If you are tempted to reply to a message in order to say it is off topic,
>or to complain about the posting or the poster -- wait a day before you
>send your reply.
>
>If a message makes you angry -- wait a day (or more) before you reply.
>
>If you can characterize your message as "yelling at someone" -- don't send
>it at all.
>
>If your message is about the volume of messages on this list -- don't send
>it at all.
>
>If your message consists of complaints about the developers or the product
>-- send it to Bob Velke, not to the list. -- because no one outside of
>Wholly Genes is in a position to respond to complaints.

Allen has some good points. I will add this:

When you think someone is out of line, don't tell them. Instead complain
to the List Administrator (me). If you must tell them, tell them nicely
and privately. The person may not realize what they have done. Many here
have posted message to the list thinking they have sent it privately to the
person (I've done it myself). More than one person has said something that
they should not have or should have said it differently. That happens. I
recognize that and if that is all, I ignore it, but if it results in a less
than friendly exchange then I will take steps to end it. A short off topic
thread is not going to bother me. But if it continues, and starts bothering
others, I will direct that it be taken off-list.

Old-timers on this list will tell you that this list was the friendliest
they ever saw. In the first few years, I don't recall ever seeing a cross
word being written. And most were amazed at the rapport here. The list
owner (he did literally own it -- being on _his_ server), Tim Doyle, was
effectively absent (possibly lurking) more that he was here and the list
ran itself. He rarely had anything to say after the first month or so (and
that was answering question about the list).

At the time Tim started the list, it only had a few hundred
subscribers. That quickly grew to about 800 and has now grown to about
1500 now. The number rises and falls somewhat based on releases of TMG,
and the general attitude of the list. When v5 was first released it
increased somewhat. With the increase and the release came additional
traffic and some un-subscribed. With each additional update, subscriptions
go up or down.

Subscriptions also decrease with the advent of less than civil messages
here -- some have unsubscribed recently -- even today. We don't need
these. Granted that to a great extent those unsubscribing are the ones
losing. But often the rest of us lose as some are frequent posters here of
either good questions, good answers or suggestions.

So if someone says something thought to be out-of-line, follow Allen's
advice, tell me (off-list), or even tell the person (off-list). A lot of
discussion here probably should be of a private nature anyway. A good rule
for off-topic subjects is to "announce" the topic (maybe by asking a
question) and ask that others reply off-list. If a number ask you to share
the replies, then post a summary of the answers here. This will reduce the
amount of traffic here considerably from dozens of messages on the topic to
two or three.

One other point -- many subscribers here are new to the Internet and
mailing lists and often do not know the "rules". Mostly there aren't many
-- staying on-topic and being courteous. But there are a number of things
that are "expected" and newbies can't be expected to know them right
off. If anyone wonders what these "expected" things are, I would suggest
that they use their web browser and go to their favorite search engine
(Google or Yahoo or whatever) and enter the keyword "netiquette". As with
many things found on search engines, you will need to pick and choose. But
try a few of the hits and see if you don't find a few that are somewhat
extensive about the "rules for posting messages" on the Internet. Most are
reasonable and most are based on being courteous. But one can learn a lot
at one of these sites.


Lee Hoffman/KY
TMG Tips: <http://www.tmgtips.com>;
My website: <http://www.tmgtips.com/lhoffman>;
A user of the best genealogy program, The Master Genealogist (TMG)

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