TMG-L Archives

Archiver > TMG > 2004-03 > 1078204617


From: "Dennis Norton" <>
Subject: Re: [TMG] Divorce still shows as spouse
Date: Tue, 2 Mar 2004 00:16:57 -0500
References: <005501c3ffa3$48c380b0$173e2844@DennisDell340> <6.0.0.22.2.20040301104606.046ee098@pop3.norton.antivirus> <007501c40004$24ad68b0$173e2844@DennisDell340> <6.0.0.22.2.20040301232732.02e0f7e0@pop3.norton.antivirus>


----- Original Message -----
From: "Lee Hoffman" <>
To: <>
Sent: Monday, March 01, 2004 11:46 PM
Subject: Re: [TMG] Divorce still shows as spouse


> Dennis Norton wrote:
> >Yes, it does help at least in my thinking about it. People with these
> >"issues" like divorce want their history to be artificially "cleaned" up,
> >and I have tried to accommodate them and in earlier programs I used
before
> >TMG, I could do this. However, I understand why TMG doesn't want to let
me
> >"clean" them up.
>
> Actually, TMG does let you massage the data to artificially create a
> person's history that does not represent reality. However, it forces you
> to do this massaging in such a way that _you_ are making the changes on
> purpose and not by accident.
>
> >I'm just trying to find a way to make living relatives
> >happy about the genealogy of the family. Guess I shouldn't worry so much
> >about that.
>
> I'd like to say that, but the reality of people prevents me from doing
that
> unless I no longer want to get the real information. Thus I ask for all
> the real information and only publish what they allow me. Thus when I go
> back to them and ask for more information, they are not reluctant to give
> it to me since they can trust me not to publish anything they are
sensitive
> about.
>
> >I might try a couple of suggestions made by you and Peter Thompson just
to
> >make this relative happier, but your answers are well taken and I'm at
> >least glad I did not have a misunderstanding about how TMG works in
regard
> >to divorce.
>
> It may be other information as well. I have one that married, had a
child,
> was divorced, the ex-spouse took the baby and left without leaving any
> contact address. The person has since married again and has another
> family. They do not want the new family to know anything about the
> half-sibling until they are older.
>
> Also, a few years ago, I had information about a person's parent who had
> spent a number of years behind bars as a result of something they did
while
> very young. The person didn't want their grandchildren to know about it
> until they were older and the grandparent was dead. I kept that wish
until
> the grandparent died and until after the parents told the kids.
>

Lee, These points are very well taken and very important. Everyone on this
list ought to read your last two paragraphs and constantly be aware that we
as genealogists (whether having been one for 50 years or 1 year) have,
somewhere along the way, collected information that is in some way
confidential, hurtful, sensitive or damaging to someone still alive. We
have collected enormous amounts of information about thousands of people,
and your point that you have kept the faith with people who did not want
certain information published is very important. All of us need to keep
that in mind. Thanks for a very important reminder.

Dennis


>
> Lee Hoffman/KY
> TMG Tips: <http://www.tmgtips.com>;
> My website: <http://www.tmgtips.com/lhoffman>;
> A user of the best genealogy program, The Master Genealogist (TMG)
>
>
> ==== TMG Mailing List ====
> Send all messages and replies to <>.
>
>
>



This thread: