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Subject: [TXREDRIV-L] ALWAYS THOUGHT GREEN SNAKES WERE OK
Date: Tue, 2 Jan 2001 22:33:18 EST


I thought everyone could use a little laugh and humor, after all the worry
about the weather and the holidays.. I hope you enjoy this...

ALWAYS THOUGHT GREEN SNAKES WERE OK? READ ON........
Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not
rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and
during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing in a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden
grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when It had warmed up, it
slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud
scream. The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room
naked to see what the problem was.  She told him there was a snake under the
sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About
that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt. He thought the
snake had bitten him, so he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack,
so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the
stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out
from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped
his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in
the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a
neighbor man.  He volunteered to capture the snake.  He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was
gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing,
her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling
around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and
the neighbor man
seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. The
neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping sees her husband's mouth
on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a
bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where
it needed stitches. An ambulance was called and it was determined that he
required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying
on the
floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey,
and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived.
They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken
fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women
tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called
an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. Just then
the little snake crawled out
from under the couch, One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. 

He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of
the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out
the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family
dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming
car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on
fire. Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire
house was blazing. Neighbors had
called the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had started raising
his ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out
the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the
telephones in a ten-square city block area. 

Time passed - Both men were discharged from the hospital, The house was
rebuilt, The police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.

About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold
snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should
bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him


Linda Mitchell Pool
Horizon City Texas

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